GRAYHAVEN COMICS APPRENTICE- Challenge 6- The Script Projects

Courtland:

Grayhaven Apprentice Challenge 6

The Three Page Script

 

by Courtland Funke

 

In the middle of the woods, Fone, Phoney and Smiley Bone are propped up against a tree, hands tied behind their backs, as two stupid stupid rat creatures prepare a pot of boiling water in front of them.  Though they are unnamed in the book, for the purpose of keeping the two straight, I have named them Quiche (the one who always likes to eat Quiche) and Stew (the one who would rather eat stew).

Page One

Panel 1 – The two rat creatures are preparing a stew in a large boiling pot of water over an open campfire.  Behind them, we see the Bone cousins tied to a tree, struggling to get out.  Quiche is sprinkling salt into the pot while Stew stirs with a large wooden spoon.

 

Stew: You’re using too much salt!

 

Quiche: What do I know about salt and stew? I wanted to make a…

 

Stew: Don’t even say it comrade.

 

Quiche: I’d grow my tail back for some eggs.

 

Panel 2 – Same scene.  Quiche has put down the salt and is looking at Stew who is tasting the water with the spoon.  The cousins continue to struggle.

 

Quiche: How much longer until it’s ready?

 

Stew: A little while still.  It’s not hot enough.

 

Panel 3 – Quiche is looking at the cousins, who see him looking and stop struggling.  Smiley Bone is looking up and whistling while Fone Bone smiles and Phoney Grimaces.

 

Quiche: Can’t we just put them in now?  I’m so hungry.

 

Stew: If we put them in now, they’ll complain the whole time.  Do you want the clever one to trick us again?

 

Stew: Chew on that mossy stick we found yesterday if you’re so hungry.

 

Panel 4 – Stew is asking a simple question.  No implied expression on his face.  Quiche reacts with a look of mild surprise.

 

Stew:  Which one do you want to eat?

 

Quiche: What do you mean which one? There’s three of them.

 

Panel 5- Stew is still calm.  Quiche is becoming agitated.

 

Stew:  I thought it would only be fair that I got two of them since I’m the one who caught them?

 

Quiche: What do you mean YOU caught them?  I’m the one who caught them!

 

Panel 6 – The rat creatures are becoming more agitated as they argue.

 

Stew: YOU caught them? I should say not.

 

Quiche: Oh really? How is it you think YOU caught them?

 

Stew: I chased them into the bramble comrade.

Page Two

Panel 1 – Quiche is pointing to himself.  Stew is starting to look exasperated. On the left side of the panel, we see Ted the Bug appear, unnoticed by the rat creatures.

 

Quiche: But it was I who grabbed them and tied them up.

 

Stew: But you couldn’t have tied them up if I hadn’t cornered them.

 

Quiche:  But you needed me to tie them up because you were afraid to go in the bramble.

 

Stew:  There are pointy sticks in there!

 

Panel 2 – The rat creatures continue to argue.  Quiche is pointing his finger at Stew.  Ted the Bug notices the Bone cousins tied to the tree.

 

Quiche: That’s because you chased him into a rocky corner. And you never would have found the corner if I hadn’t shown you where to go.

 

Stew: And YOU never would have known where the corner was if you weren’t so busy looking for eggs instead of helping me chase them down.

 

Quiche: I thought I saw a birds nest up in the cliff and I’m oh so hungry.

 

Panel 3 – Stew stomps his foot on the ground in defiance.  Quiche strikes a more cooperative pose with one hand outstretched towards Stew.  Ted has hopped over the Bones who are whispering something to him.

 

Stew: Enough of this!  I did the most work!  I want two!

 

Quiche: How about this?  You have the big one, and I have the two little ones?

 

Stew:  Oh no comrade!  The big one is far too skinny. I’ll only take him if I can have the little plump one as well.

 

Panel 4 – Quiche continues to try to negotiate with Stew who is starting to soften.  Ted is hopping off panel to the left.

 

Quiche: Then how about I have the big skinny one and the clever one and you can have the plump one all to yourself?

 

Stew: But then I’m only getting one again. I will have the two little ones and you will have the big one and that is that!

 

Panel 5 – Ted has left the panel and is making bird noises to draw the rat creatures attention away from the cousins.  Quiche has turned his head sharply and attentively to face the left side of the panel, his body still facing Stew who has gone back to stirring the soup.

 

Off Panel Sound: Caw! Chirp! Squawk!

 

Quiche: Did you heard that?

 

Stew: Pay it no mind comrade.

 

Panel 6 – Quiche is getting excited as he works through what the sound could mean.  Stew is looking down at the pot, trying to ignore him.

 

Quiche: That sounded like a bird.

 

Stew: No it didn’t.

Quiche: Yes it did! And if there are birds nearby then there must be a nest.

 

Stew: Don’t do this.

 

Panel 7 – Quiche getting even more excited while Stew grows more weary, knowing what is coming.

 

Quiche: And if there is a nest then there must be eggs!

 

Stew:  I mean it.

 

Quiche: And if there are eggs, then we can make a quiche comrade!

 

Panel 8 – Quiche runs off toward the bird sounds. Stew is upright and at attention shouting at him. Thorn peeks into the panel from the right.

 

Stew: Come back here!

Page Three

Panel 1 – Stew chases after Quiche on the left side of the panel.  We see Thorn peeking in on the cousins from the right side of the panel.

 

Panel 2 – Thorn is untying the Bone cousins and they are escaping to the right of the panel, leaving the untied ropes near the pot, Ted the bug bouncing behind them.

 

Panel  3 – The rat creatures return from left of panel, Stew dragging Quiche by the scruff of his neck, to see the cousins have escaped.  A dumbstruck, wide eyed expression on their faces.

 

Quiche: Why did you let them go?

 

Stew: What!? I didn’t let them go! I was chasing after you!

 

Quiche: You were supposed to be watching them while I found the eggs!

 

Panel 4 – Stew has picked up the rope.

 

Stew: Don’t you blame this on me comrade!  It was probably the clever one tricking us again!

 

Panel 5 – The rat creatures sigh, staring at the rope.

 

Rat Creatures: Sigh…

 

Panel 6 – Stew unceremoniously drops the rope into the pot.

 

Panel 7 – Quiche tastes the stew with the wooden spoon.  Stew has a frustrated look on his face.

 

Quiche: Too much salt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mary Margaret:

 

 

GrayHaven Comics Apprentice

 

CHALLENGE 6:  The Three-Page Script

 

 

 

 

DATE WITH THE EXTERMINATOR

 

Written by Mary Sheridan

© 2013

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE 1: Half-Page Splash plus 3 Insert Boxes, 2 Panels

 

A woman in her thirties arrives in a space dock dining hall where her husband is waiting at their table. He is already engrossed in eating his entrée. She removes insignia from her jacket and places them in her pocket before he sees her. Without the military decorations, her dark green jacket and black pants transform into a tailored suit of futuristic cut (artist’s choice!).

 

The woman (“Lenora”) is of mixed race, with medium-brown skin and short, black, curly hair. She is slim and fit; as tall as her husband. Her face is heart-shaped yet she has sternly expressive dark eyes and eyebrows.

 

The man (“Paul”) is Caucasian. He has a long, oval face; medium-brown hair and beard of short, futuristic cut (have fun – I thought of Wes Bentley’s beard in The Hunger Games movie); lighter brown eyes than Lenora’s with a generally serious but sometimes mocking expression. His expensive dark suit is cut with similar lines to Lenora’s outfit.

 

Lenora has just arrived home from space, yet they are not happy to see each other.

 

 

HALF-PAGE SPLASH: The background (lead) covering the top one-half of the page shows a side-view section of a massive spacecraft at medium-close range (e.g., lit rows of view ports are clearly seen but can visualize only a few shadows in the interior; exterior vents, etc., are in sharp focus). The ship has the vague look of something cobbled together with a sense of order; it has hundreds of different-sized ships that look to be part of the whole but can separate to fly on their own (artist: an “organic” look?).

 

Action and dialogue in the top line takes place inside three Insert Panels with enough space in between to make the splash behind them visible and recognizable as a massive ship. Bottom one-half of Page 1 contains two page-wide panels.

 

COLORS: The page one half-splash (the ship) is brightly lit with a gleaming hull. The splash’s insert boxes stand out against their background; muted colors, many shadows, yet faces visible; the dining hall lights are dimmed to indicate evening. The medium-dark forest green of Lenora’s jacket is the basis for increasingly dark moodiness on pages two and three, until the final panel is reminiscent of a “noir” comic. Two bottom panels are likewise muted and moody.

 

 

CAPTION 1

(Upper left corner)

SPACE DOCK THETA

EARTH ORBIT

10.17.2097.2043

 

 

INSERT BOX 1

(To the Left inside Half-Splash – Caption 1 may overlap)

This is a narrow box with a close-up view of Lenora’s right hand pulling a bar of ribbons (medals) from her jacket, over the heart. Still in view are three rectangular Captain’s pips on her right collar (she has yet to remove them).

 

[NO COPY]

 

 

INSERT BOX 2

(To the Right of Insert Box1, inside Half-Splash)

This box wider than Box 1 with a close-up view of Lenora’s right hand slipping decorations into side pocket of her pants. Her collar pips are now gone.

 

[NO COPY]

 

 

INSERT BOX 3

(To the Right of Insert Boxes 1 and 2, inside Half-Splash)

This insert is wider than boxes 1 and 2. POV is in the middle-distance, from behind and to the right of Paul. He is in the foreground, seated at a dinner table, eating. Lenora is approaching; Paul does not look up. In the background, a wall-sized window offers a smaller partial view of the massive spacecraft docked 300 feet away (same craft as page splash).

 

Paul:                            LATE, AS USUAL.

 

Lenora:                       ALWAYS SO NICE TO SEE YOU, PAUL.

 

 

 

 

CAPTION 2

(Across top of Panel 1)

“…QUAD-II IS THE FIRST INTERGALACTIC DEFENDER WITH A SEPARATION CAPABILITY EQUAL TO ONE-FIFTH OF A FULL NAVAL COMPLEMENT. THE Q-II LIVED UP TO ITS HYPE IN AN UNEXPECTED SHAKE-DOWN CRUISE BATTLE WITH…”

 

 

PANEL 1

(Height is one-half of “un-splashed” page bottom)

Paul (left) and Lenora (right) are in profile, seated at the table. Length of the table between them appears exaggerated to mimic and emphasize the emotional distance between the couple. Verbal exchange: two statements each.

 

Paul (amused):           HMMF. THE ALMIGHTY QUAD-II, ITS PUBLICIST STABBING

FEAR THROUGH THE HEART OF SPACE.

 

Lenora (annoyed):      I’M DAMNED GOOD AT MY JOB, PAUL.

 

Paul:                            OH, THAT’S RIGHT. YOU ARE THE PUBLICIST, AREN’T YOU?

Lenora:                       DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE CIVIL?

 

 

PANEL 2

(Height matches Panel 1)

Left one-third of this box is a close-up of Paul’s angry face, leaning forward toward his wife, who is out of frame on the right.

 

Paul:                            IS YOUR BEHAVIOR ‘CIVIL’, LENORA?

 

Lenora (unseen):        WHAT?

 

Paul:                            AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST HAVING AN AFFAIR.

BUT YOU’RE FAR TOO COLD FOR THAT.

YOU PREFERRED TO HAVE AN ENTIRE SHIP.

 

 

*END OF PAGE 1*

 


PAGE 2: 5 Panels

 

Top row of three, side-by-side panels followed by two page-wide panels.

 

BACKGROUND: Interior of dining hall with Quad-II ship visible through wall of window.

 

FOREGROUND: Characters’ features sharp against dining hall background.

 

COLORS: The tone is moodier than page one, with more black, grays, dark greens in the dining hall and only moderate light on the ship in the background. Characters in foreground: less overall light but more emphasis on highlights for skin, eyes, hair.

 

 

PANEL 1

(Top left)

Lenora (close-up, angry; Paul’s POV):         YOU ARE DESPICABLE!

 

 

PANEL 2

(Top middle)

Paul (close-up; bemused; Lenora’s POV):    NO DENIAL? HOW DISAPPOINTING. BUT

SURELY YOU MISS YOUR RANK INSIGNIA?

 

PANEL 3

(Top right) Lenora (extreme close-up; mouth open; shocked and furious; Paul’s POV)

 

[NO COPY]

 

 

PANEL 4

(Page width)

Pan out to show the couple at the table, similar to Panel 1, Page 1 (Paul at left, Lenora at right). Now, Paul’s forearms are on the table and he holds his right hand up (vertical) to indicate there is no need for his wife to speak. Lenora sits back against her chair, upright and rigid; her hands brace against the edge of the table where her dinner sits untouched. Paul looks grim; Lenora’s face is an unemotional mask.

 

Paul (amused):           NO, NO! YOU’RE LEVEL ALPHA-ZETA SECURITY, AND I’M

ONLY ALPHA-GAMMA. THE ‘IRON LADY’ CAN’T SAY A WORD.

PRESS NAMES CAN BE SO AMUSING.

 

Lenora (furious):        [SPX: GASP!] HOW DO YOU…KNOW?

 

 

 

 

 

PANEL 5

(Page width)

Paul:                            UNIMPORTANT. BUT DO YOU PREFER, ‘THE EXTERMINATOR’?

I DO, SINCE I’M ABOUT TO EXTERMINATE YOUR WEALTH AND

EXPOSE YOU, LENORA, IN A VERY MESSY PUBLIC DIVORCE.

 

Lenora:                       Internal Monologue:

WHY COULDN’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN AFFAIRS, PAUL?

 

 

*END OF PAGE 2*

 

 

PAGE 3: 5 Panels

 

Top row of two, side-by-side panels followed by three page-wide panels.

 

BACKGROUND: Black shapes in stark contrast to shadows of grays and greenish hues.

 

FOREGROUND: Characters’ features sharp against a slightly more blurred background.

 

COLORS: Darker, very moody; light on the ship in the background is muted. Characters in foreground appear in lower light (similar to having three or four candles on the table they are close to, and darkness with indiscriminate shapes behind them); features remain sharp with good contrast and expressiveness.

 

 

PANEL 1

(Top left)

Medium close-up of Lenora. Her elbows on table; eyes “flash” with anger; Paul’s POV (she faces left). Communicator on table next to Lenora’s arm chimes.

 

[SPX: Beep-beep]

 

Lenora:                       THIS IS NOT FINISHED! I’ll BE RIGHT BACK.

 

 

PANEL 2

(Top right)

We are watching over Paul’s right shoulder as Lenora stands twenty feet away taking her call, near the massive window with light reflecting on her from the ship’s lights, please.

 

Paul:                            Internal Monologue:

NO, THERE IS A LOT FOR A LIAR AND HER HUSBAND TO SETTLE.

 

PANEL 3

(Page width)

Close-ups of Paul at left and Lenora at right. Standing, and again there is distance between them. Paul is angry; skin darkened (flushed). Lenora remains “straight-faced”, unemotional.

 

Paul:                            SHIPPING OUT??! NOW?

 

Lenora:                       IT CAN’T BE HELPED.

 

 

 

 

 

PANEL 4

(Page width)

Our POV has backed away from the close-ups; the couple is now visible from head to hips. The table remains between them (may be seen or unseen). Paul’s arms are crossed; Lenora’s hands are on her hips. Verbal exchange: Paul three statements and Lenora, two.

 

Paul:                            FINE. I’LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

 

Lenora:                       NO. OUR LAWYERS WILL WORK IT OUT. COLLETTE KNOWS

MY WISHES AND… THIS WILL NOT PLAY OUT IN THE PRESS!

 

Paul:                            WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

 

Lenora:                       ‘NO EXCEPTIONS’, PAUL. ALPHA-ZETA IS VERY CLEAR…

 

Paul:                            TAKE YOUR PROTOCOLS TO HELL… CAPTAIN!

 

 

PANEL 5

(Page width)

At the center of the frame, we view Paul from behind and slightly around to his right. Over his shoulder, Lenora is visible about twenty feet directly ahead, walking away. Her posture is military straight.

 

Lenora:                       Internal Monologue: I AM SORRY…

 

Paul stands, a little slumped, with his right hand reaching for a communicator on the table.

 

Except for the center space in this panel that is occupied by our view of the couple, the right and left areas are completely filled by hulking, oversized figures: recognizably large males entirely in black, sparingly highlighted, and covering their parts of the panel top to bottom. At center, the closest figure reaches out a meaty hand to capture Paul’s wrist before his fingers reach the communicator.

 

*THE END*

 

 

 

 

 

Nathan:

 

Chocolate Chip Pancakes
by Nathan Kenkel

3-pages

 

Page 1
6 panels

1.1

A woman in her mid-thirties walks down a flight of stairs that lands directly into the kitchen of her townhouse, this is Claire. She is barefoot, dressed in pajama pants and a tank top with a pink bandana covering her bald head. The sun is slowly setting in the window above the sink, but Claire is focused on and confused by the man in front of her stove with his back to her. This man is Claire’s Daddy. He is tall and handsome, dressed in polo and khakis; his hair is greying at the temples but he does not appear much older than his daughter. He is currently cooking out of multiple pans on her stovetop. Between the landing and the stove is a small table with only two chairs.

 

1/CLAIRE
Daddy?

 

2/SFX (from the stove)
SSSsszzzz

 

1.2

Daddy turns away from the stove and flashes Claire a large, warm, and loving smile. Close up we can see the he is just slightly older than his daughter.

 

3/DADDY

Mornin’, Baby. How are you feeling?

 

1.3

Claire is stopped at the bottom of the stairs, her hand still on the rail for balance. She continues to stare at Daddy dumbfounded; his smile beams as he continues cooking.

 

4/CLAIRE
Better…

 

5/DADDY
That’s great to hear, Claire!

 

6/CLAIRE
Daddy, what are you doing here?

1.4

Close-up on the cooking food as Daddy empties a pan containing a large chocolate chip pancake onto a plate, already stacked high with pancakes. Other pans on the stovetop contain bacon and scrambled eggs.

 

6/DADDY

I’m making your favorite dinner; breakfast!

 

7/DADDY

Bacon, eggs, and chocolate chip pancakes.

 

8/SFX (from bacon)

SSSsssszzzz

 

1.5

Claire pulls out one of the two chairs at her small kitchen table and prepares to sit down. Daddy, a plate of pancakes in each hand, puts one down on the side opposite of Claire.

 

9/CLAIRE
No. I mean, what are you doing here? Here and now?

 

10/CLAIRE
You—You—

 

1.6

Daddy bends over and kisses a sitting Claire’s forehead as he puts her plate in front of her.

 

11/DADDY
I know, Sweetie. It’s been a really longtime… and I’ve missed you so much.

 

12/DADDY
But you know why I’m here.

 

Page 2


7 Panels

 

2.1

Claire, trying to rationalize, scrunches up her face. Daddy, back at the stove, dumps the eggs onto another plate.

 

1/CLAIRE
No. You’re not here. This is a dream, or another hallucination. Because of the—

 

2.2

Daddy, still smiling but looking a little sterner, walks back to the table with a plate full of bacon and eggs.

 

2/DADDY
Claire, I’m sorry, but this is as real as it gets. No more drugs, treatments, or hallucinations. You’re not sick anymore.

 

2.3

Claire slams her fists against the table and screams at Daddy, tears welling in her eyes.

 

3/CLAIRE
NO! It’s not fair!

 

4/SFX
CRASH!

2.4

Claire stands up and gestures wildly with her hands as she yells at Daddy, who is getting orange juice out of the fridge.

 

5/CLAIRE
Why me?  I was a good person! I exercised, I ate healthy, I volunteered and gave money to the poor!

 

2.5

Claire’s anger breaks, she meekly sits back in her chair as the tears run down her face. Daddy calmly pours a glass of orange juice

 

6/CLAIRE
Why me?

 

7/DADDY
I know Claire. It isn’t fair, but it happens to everyone, sometimes sooner than later.

 

2.6

Her eyes puffy and tears still rolling down her cheeks, Claire looks up pleadingly at Daddy, grabbing his arm.

 

8/CLAIRE
Please, Daddy? Just a little more time? I’ll do anything. Just a couple more years. Anything.

 

2.7

Daddy embraces a sobbing Claire, who grips him tightly.

 

8/DADDY
I’m sorry, Claire. I want to. I want to so badly, but there’s nothing I can do.

 

PAGE 3


5 Panels

 

3.1

Claire pulls away slightly, while her father continues to hold her by her shoulders. Tears run down her cheek, but she isn’t crying anymore.

 

1/CLAIRE
But I have a daughter, a little girl.

 

2/DADDY
I know sweetie, I did too.

 

3.2

Daddy wipes the tears from his daughter’s cheeks.

 

3/CLAIRE
I didn’t get to say goodbye.

 

4/DADDY
Neither did I.

 

3.3

Claire looks up at the ceiling, forcing herself to keep her composure. Daddy kneels down holding her hands, looking at her tenderly.

 

5/CLAIRE
Daddy?

 

6/DADDY
Yeah Baby?

 

3.4

Claire looks down at her untouched meal sitting on the table in front of her and Daddy returns to his chair.

 

7/CLAIRE
Can we finish eating before we go?

 

3.5 – large panel

The very last light of the sun comes from the kitchen window. Daddy sits in his chair eating a piece of bacon, staring across the table at his daughter. Claire opens her mouth wide for a bite of pancake. She is once again a young girl, her feet not yet touching the floor with long and dark, wavy hair flowing out from her pink bandana.

 

8/DADDY
Absolutely.

 

9/CAPTIONLESS TEXT (bottom-right corner)
End.

 

 

 

 

 

Jared:

 

PAGE 1

A young interracial couple, LUCI (white) and JASON (black) are seated for dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse. It’s a Saturday night so it’s relatively busy, but there are only a scant few tables at the highly exclusive restaurant, so each table has enough space around it to not have to worry about the neighboring tables hearing their conversations. The MAITRE D is standing at the table talking to LUCI & JASON. LUCI & JASON are both dressed nicely and LUCI is about eight months pregnant, but it should be clear that there’s no rings on her hands, either engagement or wedding band. On the table are two round green cards, two place settings, a pitcher of water and a lit candle in the center of the table completing the romantic ambiance.

1-     JASON looks at the MAITRE D. The green card is on the table next to him.

MAITRE D: …and that’s all there is to it, sir.

JASON: So, when we want more, we put the card green side up. And when we don’t, we put it red side up?

MAITRE D: (second balloon) That’s correct. Thank you for joining us, and as we say in Brazil, por favor, aproveite o seu jantar!

2-     JASON looks at LUCI, who seems angry.

JASON: I can’t believe your folks sprung for a place like this for us.

LUCI: We’re giving them a grandkid; seems like a fair swap.

 

3-     JASON continues to try and have a conversation while LUCI stares off away from JASON, looking at the activity in the rest of the restaurant. Total freeze out.

JASON: So, did they get back to you about if they’re going to be in town for the delivery next month?

LUCI: Not yet.

4-     A waiter comes by holding a long steaming skewer with small cuts of steak and starts forking it onto the plate in front of LUCI.

JASON: You ok?

LUCI: Yeah, just peachy.

5-     The waiter has left them and there are identical steak cuts on both of their plates. LUCI is leaning across the table a little make sure that JASON can hear her, but no one else can.

LUCI: If you ignore the fact that, my boyfriend, the love of my life and the father of my unborn child still wants to run around town with a mask on and beat the piss out of muggers!

PAGE 2

1-     JASON looks aggravated. LUCI is sitting back again and looks calmer than her words portray. She’s been thinking about this for a while and knows pretty much how the conversation will go.

JASON: Jesus Luce[1], I thought we talked about this already?

LUCI: No Jace[2], you said your piece six months ago; I never said anything. Now you’re going to listen to me. Because, for you to be this selfish is bullshit!

LUCI: (second balloon) Turn the damn card over.

2-     JASON turns the card on the table to red as a waiter walks past their table, ignoring them as he heads on to a table with a green card showing. Now it’s JASON’s turn to lean across the table towards LUCI.

JASON: So what, this past couple of months was just a test? I really hate crap like that, Luce.

LUCI: So do I. It wasn’t a “test” like most girls do. You know I’m not that girl.

LUCI: (second balloon) But I did want to see if you realized what a monumentally bad idea this whole enterprise is.

3-     LUCI is eating some of the food on her plate while JASON pours her some water. They’re pissed at each other, but they also still love each other and he’s a consummate gentleman.

JASON: I know you didn’t like it when you found out what I was doing, but after you saw the difference I was making, I thought you’d understand why I’m doing it.
JASON: (second balloon) Someone has to help everybody out there.

4-     LUCI is holding her glass in and about to drink.

LUCI: Cops, firefighters, hell bounty hunters, Jace. They get training, special equipment, back up. That’s why they can go do what they do.

LUCI: (second balloon) You know who doesn’t risk their lives “out there”? Guys who barely graduated college, have a mountain of student loans, a baby on the way and a girlfriend they refuse to marry!

5-     Low blow. Both LUCI and JASON’s faces show it. LUCI regrets saying it a little, but before she can say anything JASON holds up his hand to stop her from saying anything further and with his other hand he’s turned the card over to green.

JASON: You know what? Let’s just finish our meal. We can talk about this later.

6-     The final panel on this page is to show time passing while they continue their meal silently. It’s a horizontal panel going across the width of the page split into 7 smaller panels showing the following:

  1. CU of JASON eating, looking annoyed
  2. The candle on the table burning down some
  3. CU of LUCI eating looking equally annoyed
  4. CU of the card on the table, now flipped to the red side
  5. CU of LUCI looking less angry and more apologetic
  6. CU of JASON looking less cold and more calm
  7. The candle on the table burning down even further

PAGE 3

1-     JASON is holding LUCI’s hand as they talk

JASON: I know I’m being selfish, but I went through my whole life being average at everything, except this. This I’m really good at. And most people seem to like what I’m doing.

2-     JASON continues talking while with her free hand, LUCI gently touches the side of his face.

JASON: I do think about you and the baby. I think about the kind of world I want for our family, and I feel like I can make a difference.

LUCI: I get it, I really do. Wanting to make a difference is why I’m in med school. And I love that you’re so passionate about it, and will do more than just talk about fixing what’s wrong out there.

3-     LUCI talks as she looks at JASON

LUCI: But at the end of the day, my biggest concern is us. Not random people walking the street. I may sound like a bitch, but I don’t care. You and this kid, you’re my people.

4-     LUCI continues

LUCI: I can’t worry about you running around getting shot at and stabbed all the time, and worry about the mini human being I’m incubating as well.

5-     LUCI’s eyes are welling with tears a little bit.

LUCI: And I hate hearing those words come out of my mouth, because I’m not “clingy, ultimatum girl”. But I have to swallow my pride and do what’s best for our family. A dad that’s alive and healthy is what our kid needs.

6-     JASON is looking at LUCI while kissing her hand that he’s been holding

JASON: You’re right. I can’t keep putting myself and our family at risk. But at the same time, I feel like now that I finally know what I’m meant to do with my life, that I’ll be miserable and resentful if I stop.

7-     JASON continues

JASON: I don’t want to resent you or the baby, so I keep going, which leads us to this cycle.

JASON: (second balloon) I love you, but I don’t know what to do.

8-     JASON has released LUCI’s hands and she wipes her eyes with a napkin on the table.

LUCI: Me either baby, me either.

 

 

Sam:

TITLE:            A Square Meal                        BY:  Samuel Read

CHARACTER DESCRIPTONS & SETTING

 

Setting

‘A Square Meal’ is a three page script set in the DC Comics universe.  It features characters from the Batman line of titles and is set in current continuity, specifically after the events of ‘Batman Incorporated #8’ from February 2013.

 

Character Descriptions

 

ALFRED PENNYWORTH

Butler, confident and confederate to Bruce Wayne, both in his personal life and endeavours as Batman, Alfred’s role in ‘A Square Meal’ is that of narrator.  His memories of Bruce and Damian Wayne’s ritualistic pre-patrol meal and argument are intended to impress on the reader his and Bruce’s sense of loss.

 

BRUCE WAYNE

To the wider world he is simply the hugely wealthy heir to a dynastic fortune, but this façade hides Bruce’s all-consuming mission to fight crime in his secret identity of Batman.  An orphan, he was raised primarily by Alfred, and is father to Damian, who also served as Batman’s sidekick Robin until his recent murder.

 

DAMIAN WAYNE

The child of Bruce and Talia Al Ghul, Damian’s existence was initially hidden from his father.  Training as an assassin from birth, he was introduced into Bruce’s life with the intention of disrupting his work as Batman, but Damian ultimately joined in Batman’s crusade, as his sidekick Robin, until his death.

TITLE:            A Square Meal                        SCRIPT BY:  Samuel Read

LENGTH: 3 Pages                              DRAFT ONE

 

NOTE ON LAYOUTS – Though flexible on panel layouts, one key element (due to its being ‘mirrored’ on Page 3) is that Panel 5 on Page 1 occupies the full width of the foot of the page.  This is to be juxtaposed with the same image, minus a number of elements, on Page 3.

 

– PAGE 1 [Layout]

· 5 panels: Panel 5 fits across the full width of the foot of the page.

 

Panel 1

A half of a silver serving tray fills the panel.  On this sits two glasses of tomato juice, two unpeeled ripe bananas and two turkey sandwiches.  At the sides ALFRED PENNYWORTH’s white-gloved hands grip the tray.

 

Lettering Note – Captions 1, 2 and 3 are positioned like ‘tags’ next to one example of the items they describe.

 

1 CAPTION (ALFRED): Tomato juice.

2 CAPTION (ALFRED): Ripe bananas.

3 CAPTION (ALFRED): Turkey sandwiches, no butter.

4 CAPTION (ALFRED): Served no later than an hour before patrol

 

Panel 2

A dimly lit corridor inside Wayne Mansion; ALFRED, seen in silhouette, is carrying the tray, heading towards the viewpoint.  On one wall of the corridor are paintings of the Wayne family, and prominent is a large picture of BRUCE WAYNE, RICHARD GRAYSON, TIM DRAKE, DAMIEN WAYNE and ALFRED, based on an image from ‘Batman’ Volume Two, Issue One, attached as Reference Image One.  On the other wall is a window out into the night-time darkness.

 

5 CAPTION (ALFRED): Despite the danger it often pre-empts, the routine is somewhat comforting.

 

Panel 3

Same location as Panel 2, but ALFRED is now viewed from behind, again in silhouette, having passed the painting and window from Panel 2.  Ahead is an open doorway; the orange glow of low candlelight can be seen through it.

 

6 CAPTION (ALFRED): And though it may not be a square meal …

 

Panel 4

A close-up of DAMIAN WAYNE’s hand pointing aggressively right-to-left of panel; behind it the tip of a lit candle can be seen.

 

7 CAPTION (ALFRED): … it does at least provide a time for reflection.

8 DAMIAN (OFF-PANEL, SHOUTED): You absolute hypocrite!

 

Panel 5

Seen from the side, BRUCE (to the left) and DAMIAN WAYNE (to the right) sit facing one another at either end of a dining table.  DAMIAN’s arms are firmly crossed, his face an angry pout, while BRUCE rests two balled fists on the table, mouth a snarl.  ALFRED stands by the table centre panel, tray in hand, open doorway to the dim corridor behind him.  The only light comes from two candles in ornate holders, positioned at either end of the table.  The walls hold photos of the Wayne family through the years.

 

9 CAPTION (ALFRED): Candles keep the light level low to help adjust eyes to night vision, but tempers can still run high.

10 BRUCE: Watch your tone.

11 ALFRED: Ahem.

12 ALFRED: Supper is served, gentlemen.

 

– END PAGE 1

 

 

– PAGE 2 [Layout]

· 5 panels.

 

Panel 1

DAMIAN seen straight on, still sitting, has his shoulders shrugged in an exaggerated gesture of exasperation, face expressing annoyance.  ALFRED leans in from the left, placing the sandwich in front of DAMIAN, unimpressed.

 

1 DAMIAN: But it was a grapple line, and I only shot him in the arm!

2 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): It was the shoulder, Damian.

3 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): And you shattered it.

 

Panel 2

BRUCE, sitting and seen straight in a mirroring of Panel 1, has his arms crossed, face firm and unimpressed.  ALFRED is leaning in from the right, placing the banana next to the sandwich and juice which are already on the table.

 

4 BRUCE: If it had hit him in the chest you’d have killed him.

5 BRUCE (QUIET): Thank you, Alfred.

6 ALFRED (QUIET): You are most welcome, Master Bruce.

 

Panel 3

Birds-eye view of the table; ALFRED is stepping out of the room.  DAMIAN’s arms are held wide open, while BRUCE takes a bite from his sandwich.

 

7 DAMIAN: And if he had pulled the trigger on that missile launcher you and half the occupants of that bus would be atoms right now!

8 BRUCE: There were at least five ways to disarm him from your position.  As usual, you chose the most potentially lethal.

9 BRUCE: Now eat.

 

Panel 4

Close-up of ALFRED’s face; a wry smile on his lips.

 

10 CAPTION (ALFRED): Reflection can be educational.

11 DAMIAN (OFF-PANEL):  It stopped him, didn’t it?

12 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): Yes, but next time let’s not give his orthopaedic surgeon as much to do in the process.

 

 

Panel 5

ALFRED stands looking out into the night via the window in the corridor.  On the clouds hanging over the city nearby the Batsignal can be seen.

 

13 CAPTION (ALFRED): Sometimes reflection can help one prepare.

14 DAMIAN (OFF-PANEL): You’re too soft, Father.

15 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): And you’re too rash, Damian.

 

– END PAGE 2

 

– PAGE 3 [Layout]

· 5 panels.

 

Panel 1

ALFRED in close-up, seen from the chest upwards facing out of the panel and lit by the dull light of the room and he heads back into it.  His smile is gone and has been replaced by a blank look.

 

Lettering Note – Word balloons 2 and 3 looks ‘faded’, as is the text within them.  They are slightly translucent as if faint, like echoes.

 

1 CAPTION (ALFRED): But there are some things that cannot be prepared for.

2 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): You say you want more responsibility, but you have to earn it.

3 DAMIAN (OFF-PANEL): Pfft!  My methods are effective, I see no reason to question them.

 

Panel 2

ALFRED seen again from the front, but the viewpoint is withdrawn and inside the candle lit room, but not showing either end of the table.  ALFRED is again holding a tray in front of him, but being deeply in shadow, partly due to the contrast of the light of the room and the dark of the corridor, the contents of the tray are unseen/unclear.

 

Lettering Note – Word balloons 4 and 5; again the text within them looks ‘faded’, even more so than before, and practically like a watermark here.

 

4 BRUCE (OFF-PANEL): You might be skilled, Damian, but you lack experience.

5 DAMIAN (OFF-PANEL): If this ‘experience’ you keep mentioning robs me of my edge, you can keep it…

 

Panel 3

BRUCE sits at his end of the table, seen from what would be ALFRED’s perspective looking down from standing-height in the doorway.  He is hunched forward on the table, staring straight across it, his face stony and blank.

 

6 CAPTION (ALFRED): Sometimes reflection has only one purpose.

 

Panel 4

Close up of the tray ALFRED holds.  On it sits on a glass of tomato juice, a single unpeeled ripe banana and one turkey sandwich.

 

Panel 5

The image matches the viewpoint and set up of Panel 5, Page 1, with ALFRED again in the centre holding his tray, and his head is turned towards the right hand side of the table.  However, only BRUCE is present, sitting on the left hand side, eyes closed and head turned to look down straight at the table.  There is also only a single candle at his end of the table, and not even a chair on the right hand side.  ALFRED’s face shows sadness.

 

7 CAPTION (ALFRED): Sometimes it is simply remembrance.

 

– END PAGE 3

– END SCRIPT

 

PAST EPISODES:

Challenge #6 Task (The Script)- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/29/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-6-the-script/

 

WEEK FIVE

Challenge #5 Task  (The Rewrite)- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/23/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-5-the-rewrite/

Challenge #5 Complete Projects- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/27/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-5-completed-rewrite-projects/

Challenge #5- The Judge’s Thoughts- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/28/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-5-judges-feedback/

Challenge #5- The Boardroom- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/29/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-5-the-boardroom/

WEEK FOUR

Challenge #4 Task (Marketing) –http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/13/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-4th-challenge-marketingpr/

Challenge #4- Completed Projects- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/21/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-4th-challenge-completed-projects/

Challenge #4- Judge’s Thoughts Boardroom-http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/22/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-4th-challenge-judges-thoughtsboardroom/

WEEK THREE

Challenge #3 Task (Milking the Franchise)- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/05/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-3/

Challenge #3- Completed Projects- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/10/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-3-completed-projects/

Challenge #3- Judges- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/11/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-challenge-3-judges-feedback/

Challenge #3- Boardroom- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/12/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-3rd-challenge-the-boardroom/

WEEK TWO Challenge #2-Completed Projects-  http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/03/the-apprentice-2nd-challenge-completed-projects/

Challenge #2 Judges- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/04/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-2nd-challenge-judges-feedback/

Challenge #2- Boardroom- http://www.grayhavencomics.com/2013/08/04/grayhaven-comics-apprentice-2nd-challenge-the-boardroom/

WEEK ONE

3 Responses to GRAYHAVEN COMICS APPRENTICE- Challenge 6- The Script Projects

  1. attila September 7, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

    My two cents.
    Interestingly, while it wasn’t specified, most of you went for an excerpt rather than a complete story. (Yeah, 3 page limit will do that)
    Perhaps for that reason or for the impact the story had on me, Nathan’s script stood out the most.
    Structure wise great job from everyone.

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